BIG FAN is One of the Best Movies About Unrequited Love

There are many points in BIG FAN where you take the place of Paul Aufiero's family members and ask him (not to the TV, come on), "What's wrong with you? Are you crazy? Don't you know that you're being delusional?"  Maybe Paul knows exactly what's wrong with him and how delusional he is. Maybe he doesn't. But that's not the point. The point is he doesn't really care.

It's frustrating how complacent Paul is with his life. He lives with his mom who constantly (and rightfully) scolds him for his lack of motivation, always mentioning his brother and sister who have what they need, including a spouse. He works at a parking garage being mocked by some of its leaving visitors as he listens to sports radio, and declines offers to work a better job with better pay. His rich, lawyer brother and his plastic wife hold no respect for him. But Paul has the New York Giants, and that's all right.


Actually it's the best thing ever. Paul loves the Giants. They're his whole world. He's unable to afford tickets, but he watches the games outside the stadium with a small TV hooked up to his car. He spends his work time writing scripts that he recites word for word (even the "ha ha ha!"s) to a very late night sports talk radio. He has a poster of the Giant's best player, Quantrell Bishop, above his bed so it will be the last thing he see when he falls to sleep. He owns a plethora of Giants memorabilia, from books to beanies to cartridges. He seems to be like any other die-hard fanatic.

But everything changes when Paul and his friend spot Bishop travelling the streets, making a shady stop along the way. They follow Bishop to a strip club and after finding the courage to get up and speak with him, Paul mentions they've been following him for quite some time. From there, a (not-so-sober) Bishop starts to freak and pummel Paul into a three-day coma. The rest of the film is about Paul's internal struggle. Should he press charges and get Bishop arrested or not? The Giants without Bishop would mean the team would suffer, but justice would be served. The Giants with Bishop would mean several wins in their record, but leave Paul with severe concussion symptoms and nothing to show for it.

BIG FAN isn't just about sports fanaticism. It's also about unrequited love. The Giants aren't going to love Paul back. He gets no apology from the team about what Bishop did for obvious reasons. The only way that they could love Paul back is by winning the Super Bowl, but that's never a guarantee. Instead he just lives for the moment when the team does love him back. He is consumed with so much hope that he doesn't care about anything else, including his own well-being.

I wish I had seen this film when I was stuck in a terrible, long-lasting, unrequited relationship. Many of my friends warned me about the whole thing, saying things like, "This is unhealthy, Paul" and I would feel ashamed when I didn't listen and had to confront their disappointed, but sympathetic faces when I told them I was still going to try for her. Why the hell did I keep going at it when it was obvious she wasn't having any of it? When I knew I would just end up hurt again? Maybe I just didn't care. I am more like him than I first realized, and BIG FAN makes it clear that all of us are like Paul in some way.

It's easy to brush Paul as a crazy fanatic, but mostly everyone does the same thing when put in Paul's place. How many times have you seen someone (or yourself) pining after someone you know will never feel the same way about you? You know for a fact that it won't happen, but you hold on to the hope anyway, and you're unable to move on to someone else because of it. Some might become obsessed with the thought of the other person. Your friends might try to get through to you ("Don't you get it? They'll never love you back! Get over it!"), but they never succeed because we all know we're being irrational. We just don't care.

Now here are some people crying over sports: