I Watched Melancholia and Now I'm Going to Write About It (And Probably Myself A Little Too Much)

I watched Lars von Trier's ANTICHRIST in 2010 and afterwards was left feeling violated, depressed, shaken, hurt, afraid--all of those icky feelings. It wasn't because of the graphic material (although, it was a rough viewing). It had more to do with my own personal chemistry.

So please forgive me if I delayed watching von Trier's new film about (again) depression until now. I was scared that it would do the same thing that ANTICHRIST did to me. I'm happy to say that my bravery (I deserve a medal) paid off. MELANCHOLIA speaks about depression in such a wonderful, beautiful, and strong way that it may make people who can't grasp what it's like to suffer it actually understand it.


MELANCHOLIA is split into two parts: Justine and Claire. Sisters. Justine is the depressed one, who's part  is probably one of more frustrating hours of film in years. It's Justine's wedding reception and she's doing her best to be happy. She smiles (a weird smile; they don't come naturally), she dances, and she kisses her husband whenever she thinks she's supposed to, but her sadness keeps seeping in and surrounding her. Soon the reception becomes a depressed person's nightmare and everyone is blaming her for her sadness. Claire gets frustrated and scolds her. Claire's husband maliciously makes her feel guilty for her sadness. Her husband tries to understand and make her feel better, but in the end, won't commit. No one really grasps what's going on with Justine, and because of that, are unable to help her.

Claire's part involves the titular planet, Melancholia, which will eventually crash into the world, but we also see how much a trooper Claire can be. We watch her as she tirelessly takes care of Justine at her lowest, bathing her, making her favorite meal, and getting her out of the house for some horseback riding. When Melancholia gets closer and closer to Earth however, there is a reversal in the sisters. Justine becomes calm while Claire starts to experience severe anxiety and sadness, clinging to her husband to reassure her that the planet is just a fly-by. She becomes the ill one who needs to be taken care of.

It's hard to describe my condition to people because I feel obligated to be specific. I don't just want to say I have depression because there are different kinds. My kind is called dysthymia and I'm not entirely sure how to  even pronounce it. Before I can describe what that is, though, I have to give context. When most people think of a depression disorder, they think of major depressive disorder (MDD). The distinctions between the two come in the form of the elapsed time and (for lack of a better word) quality (ouch) of the depression. MDD consists of severe symptoms (including low self-esteem, high self-hatred, fatigue, overeating or not eating at all, unable to take pleasure in anything, etc.) that last for about two weeks. Dysthymia's symptoms are less severe, a more low-grade MDD, but lasts for at least two years and can last for several, several more and (my favorite part) may have episodes of MDD sneak its awful head in there. 

It's incredibly difficult to articulate MDD or dysthymia or any other depression in a convincing way to anyone and have them understand what it's like to suffer through it all. I remember having a two hour long conversation with a friend who had told me that I was "just giving up on happiness" explaining to him about the dopamine and the serotonin and the reuptake inhibitors, and while, eventually, he did learn about depression in a new way, he still didn't understand it. Lars von Trier does in MELANCHOLIA what I couldn't, and uses clever techniques (showing the planets collide at the start of the film for one, and the incredible sound design for two) to bring the feelings of hopelessness and despair onto the audience, making them feel what Justine and Claire feel. This apocalyptic realm is Justine's home, and has been for quite awhile, and everyone is invited to experience it. In the end, maybe that's the only way to understand depression.

Lars von Trier has said (maybe jokingly; who knows with that guy) that this film has a happy ending. I actually agree with him. The film looks beautiful even with destruction on the horizon and the images, filled with gold and blue, give hope to a hopelessness situation. There is a positive to all of this. Through Melancholia, there is a cleansing and fearlessness emerges.

I now realize that ANTICHRIST is my Melancholia.